A bunch of bull

I spent most of last night trying to escape from hostile Germany with my older brother. It wasn't hostile at first, so we were there just visiting. We were driving near the beach in a little black jalopy heading in one direction when omniscience told me we needed to go the other way since Germany all of a sudden wasn't going to let anyone out of the country and we would probably be executed. I was in the middle of telling this to Richard when he used our handgun to shoot down a German zeppelin flying about a mile behind us which—since he was also driving the car at the time—was pretty decent shooting. He only fired one shot. Those zeppelins blow up pretty fast as it turns out.

We drove until we reached some thick shrubbery that covered an entire field, and we decided to get out and inch our way through the foliage rather than try our luck in the more noticeable vehicle. We and several other Americans in the same situation made our way to the foot of an enormous wall. It was actually a huge mountain with stairways and rooms and whole buildings carved in and around and through the thing. Some called it the Wall. Others called it Mount Doom. It had hundreds of paths all through it, but if we navigated it successfully we could make our way out of Germany to safety. We went up some ramps and stairs that led clockwise around the structure, passing several entrances and hallways leading into the mountain. Around a corner, we came across a German guard who came over to check us out. Luckily, one of our group was able to throw him to the ground and stun him. We used the guard's own shoelaces to tie his fingers together. We thought that was the most effective thing to do there.

We ran into other troubles outside the structure and found ourselves being led through tunnels by a handful of guards that had captured us. It seemed like a bad idea to remain captured, so I lost the group as quick as I could, knowing Richard could take care of himself. I stumbled through empty halls and important buildings and even some residential areas, where I was once mistaken by some old women for their young, mute niece. It helped that they weren't expecting me to say anything back to them. I don't speak German.

During all this there was a sort of guard in disguise tailing me. He finally caught up with me when I was passing through a church whose congregation was in the middle of singing hymns. I was standing near several churchgoers, pretending to be one of them, when the guard approached me. I was pretty sure he wanted to kill me when he said, "I can't wait to terminate you." But before he could do that, he needed to take me to Istanbul, which is apparently where they were taking the other Americans as well. I asked if I could stay for the rest of the church meetings first, which of course he agreed to. However, church soon got pretty weird when everyone stood near a small round room or container, looking through its windows at the large gilded statue inside. It was a massive bull which stood on its back legs in a human-esque stance. It was very decorative. The congregation was repeating some song, and the lyrics seemed to consist only of the word "Istanbul."

People ask me why I don't get much done during the day. It's because my dreams keep me very busy at night and I need a break. I remember at one point, in a separate dream, I was stabbed and pushed down a large snowy hilly, which mostly just hurt my feelings, since it was a friend who did it. Later, the dreamed changed and I was in a kiddy playground, the McDonald's type with the netting and plastic ball bins. I noticed a truly enormous tarantula inside, so I left the playground. Just in time, too, since they closed it off behind me and wouldn't let anyone else out who was still inside.
 

And I don't even do drugs.